How to Deal with Frustration

Reflect.
Let it break.
Accept that it's broken.
Recollect.

"Things fall apart, the center cannot hold."

My Dreams and His Guitar

Two nights ago, I dreamed that this guy was singing "I Almost Do" by Taylor Swift. Last night, I dreamed that he was singing romantic songs while playing the guitar.

I just don't understand why he needed to sing that Swift song. But he sang it in a very awesome manner. And I love Taylor Swift, so that was a plus (as if it matters if I give him any plus) I feel so not existing in his world. Why???

And in my second dream, he played the guitar and sang like a professional performer.  It's just sad that I forgot what the songs were - but I know they were romantic songs <3 And he sang them in a very manly manner that I really blushed in my dream <3 Thank God it was a dream (or not? because I am really dying to hear him sing or play the guitar)

Now, back to Tax!!!

University Dorm Cards and Realizations

I opened my envelope of important college files and saw these certificates. These are certificates of recognition for academic excellence and service from the dorm. The two certificates were given for having reached the QPI of a Dean's Lister. The other one was given as a recognition that I did not incur any absence in my service hours rendered for the dormitory. 

Seeing the cards made me remember two things:

1. How I loved staying in the University Dorm. Sir Tim and ARSA really make UD a home to the dormers. In addition to such fact, the dorm gives credit when they are due. The scholars are treated well. I was given food allowance, along with other scholars. Dormers who make it to the Dean's List are given incentives, from dinner to gift certificates. UD was a home away from home, it the most literal and real sense. 

2. How I got really sad that my brother will not be in Ateneo next year. He did not make it to ACET. I was hoping he would pass with a scholarship. I was hoping he would make it a dormer-scholar. I wanted him to become an Atenean because Ateneo taught and gave me a lot of things - experience I would never trade for anything. I wanted him to experience what I experienced, with the help of other people. 

Just to reiterate it in this post: Upon knowing that my brother did not make it, I also realized how I really love the school. I was not bitter he did not make it. I was sad, yes. But I still feel overwhelmed by great opportunities this school has been giving me. 

Random realizations all because I saw these cards from UD and I remembered living inside the campus, with the trees, behind the Church of the Gesu, where you can even hear the school bell ringing if you have such awesome ears :)) 

French Movies 2013

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to watch French films (once a week). I decided to do it to remember the sound and accent of French words and also to have something to do for my leisure time. So, I will be posting the titles of the films on this post every week. And probably some words, unforgettable scenes if I feel like doing so. Request addressed to anyone who gets to read this post,  if you have supply of French films, please let me copy the files so I will not have to download everytime.

Semaine 1 (05/01/13): La Pianiste (The Piano Teacher, 2001) avec Isabelle Huppert et Benoit Magimel

Well, this film is depressing. It talked about love, desires, passion. There were insane and disturbing scenes. 

Semaine 2 (12/01/13): Amour (Love, 2012)

This film is touching but also sad. It is about love and everything that goes beyond love. This is about an elderly couple. Read reviews and watch! It's awesome.

Semaine 7 (16/02/13) Le Diner de Cons (The Dinner Game, 1998)

Ice Cream and Tears

It meant the whole world when you asked if I wanted ice cream. I wanted a cup or even a bowl of it but I said, “No.”

It feels strange that I could not articulate my thoughts now. I am in the right condition to write: slightly tired from reading, listening to a good music, right time, but not crying. My best pieces are those I wrote while crying. I will never tell which ones I cried over, in spite of the revelation that I am not crying now.

I dreamt of hiding my heart

Somewhere away from your beating

Planned on cleansing my mind

Spotless from memories

Only to realize that the best way

Is to take my eyes to the desert

Where even a single oasis

Does not exist

Memories with you have always led me to tears. But my eyes are dry now, even while trying to remember that ice cream or your eyes that told everything, or how you bowed down to offer because I was lying on the floor, or how you whispered to my ear to ask if I wanted some, and how I whispered back to deny, and how you stood up again and went away. I am not saying I have forgotten the feelings. I have not, or probably, never will. It feels stranger than fiction now how not a single drop of tear would fall.

I used to ask myself “When would the tears stop falling?” but now I am clueless why they did.