Genie in a Bottle

Tomorrow is the enrollment day for sophomores. I was able to submit my grades to my benefactor just yesterday because the grades were released last Saturday. I feel like I am very much of a hassle for them because they have to write me a letter as certification that I am their scholar within a day, or two days. They still have to decide on some other things. These lawyers are busy people and they are giving some of their time for me. They are not just giving their time. They are also giving their resources and “good and generous hearts.”

Oh, I feel the need to pay it forward NOW. I do not know how, though. I applied for internship in an organization in Ateneo Law School but I was not accepted for this semester’s batch. Think, think, think of possible good things to do... I want (and need) to be doing something worthwhile all the time.

HELLO SECOND SEMESTER!!!

PS: Philo is still a question mark but I am hoping for the best

Bottomline: These lawyers are more than human beings, they are angels (or genies, for granting my wish and making my dreams come true)

PAG-IBIG : UNIBERSAL NA RELIHIYOSONG KARANASAN

Sa mundong may pagkiling sa mabuting gawa, masasabing isa sa pinakadakilang layunin ng isang nilalang ang pagpapakatao upang mabigyang saysay ang kanyang pag-iral at magkaroon din ng kabuluhan ang pag-iral na ito sa kanyang kapwa at sa lipunang kanyang ginagalawan. Madaling sabihing nararapat na magpakatao ang isang tao upang marapat siya sa katawagang “tao” ngunit hindi tuwinang nababatid ang kahulugan at implikasyon ng pagpapakatao at pagpapakabuti. Gagalaw ang mga ideya sa papel na ito sa pagsasalaysay ng ilang importanteng punto upang mapatunayang mahalagang aspekto at kailangan ang karanasang relihiyoso upang magpakatao at magpakabuti. Sisikaping talakayin ang mga puntong nais sabihin sa pamamagitan ng sa umpisa’y pag-unawa sa kahulugan at kabuluhan ng tao. Dagdag pa rito, ipahahayag sa papel na ito kung paanong may kakayahang dumanas ang tao, hanggang sa ispesipikong tukuyin ang karanasan at ang karanasang relihiyoso. Kailangang dumanas at hindi lamang normal na pagdanas, bagkus kailangang danasin ang karanasang relihiyoso upang magpakatao. Kung wala ang suhetibo at nauunawaang pagdanas sa karanasang relihiyoso, may makabuluhang epekto pa rin ang karanasang relihiyoso sa pagpapakabuti ng isang tao.
Ang tao ang espesyal na nilalang dahil kamukha at kawangis siya ng diyos. Nilikha ang taong may pinatutunguhan at natural na tumutungo ang tao sa iba, sa kapwa at sa diyos. May kakayahang umalam ng karunungan at mayroong kalayaan ang tao. Sumasapanahon at sumasalugar siya. Samakatwid, totoo sa bawat tao na palaging mayroong “nariyan na.” Sa kabila nito, isang katangiang hindi maiwawaksi ang palaging makatotohanang “mayroon pa.” Nagtatanong ang tao na siyang nagpapahintulot sa kanyang magsagawa ng pilosopiya. Sa tao lamang mayroong pangangailangang magkaroon ng kabatiran kung ano ang kabuluhan ng pagiging tao. Halimbawa, sa ibang nilalang tulad ng mga hayop at halaman, hindi nagtatanong ang mga ito at lalong hindi naghahanap ng kasagutan kung ano ang kahulugan ng pagkahalaman at pagkahayop. Sa kabila nito, hindi absoluto ang tao. Ang tao ang sa tuwina’y naghahanap at isinasalugar ang sarili sa kalawakang kaloob sa sanlibutan. Kung ipagpapalagay na naniniwala ang indibidwal sa isang nakahihigit na diyos, ang sumasaibayo ang telos ng pag-iral ng isang mananampalataya.
Bagaman limitado ng panahon, lugar at ng kanyang katawan ang tao, ang mga katangiang ito rin ang nagpapahintulot sa tao na dumanas. Hindi posible ang pagdanas kung wala ang katawang may kakayahang makaramdam at makihalubilo sa kapwa tao at sa lahat ng umiiral sa mundo. Bukod pa rito, mahalagang pagtuunan ng pansin na ang katawan, bagaman limitado na nagsisilbing posibilidad upang sumaibayo, ang pisikal na manipestasyon na nilikha ang tao ng isang nakahihigit at lampas.
Kung isasangguni kay Kant ang mga kahingian upang maging posible ang pagdanas, kailangang nariyan ang dalawang dimesiyon ng oras at lugar. Ang mga kahingiang ito ang nagpapahintulot na makaranas ang isang subheto sapagkat sa dalawang dimensiyong ito magkasamang umiiral ang subheto at obheto. Sa kabila nito, nariyan din ang posibilidad ng pagdanas ng higit pa sa maikakahon ng oras at lugar, tulad ng relihiyosong karanasan na tumutungo sa diyos. Sa ganitong uri ng karanasan, hindi ito mabigyan ng tiyak na ngalan, hindi dahil hindi ito totoo kundi dahil totoong totoo ito at babad na babad sa karanasang ito ang siyang dumaranas, lubos na siksik at tigib na hindi makakayanang ikulong lamang sa panaklong ng mga tiyak na konsepto.
Maaring sabihing limitado ang maaring maranasan ng tao ngunit ang kakayahang dumanas ng tao ang nagbibigay-kabuluhan sa pagiging tao ng tao sapagkat sa pagdanas at pag-iral naisasagawa ng tao ang patuloy na pagpapasya. Mayroong “nariyan na” na siyang nagsisilbing konteksto ng kung anuman ang maaring pagdesisyunan ng tao, ngunit nariyan pa rin ang kalayaang pumili sa bandang huli. Napatutunayang may kakayahan ang taong sumaibayo sa kabila ng mga bagay na “nariyan na.” Mayroong potensyal ang tao na sumaibayo habang nananatiling may pagkilala sa limitasyong lampas sa kakayahan ng tao ang unawain sa kabuuan ang kanyang sarili at ang diyos. Sa isang sumasampalataya, mayroon siyang pagtanggap na diyos lamang ang makauunawa sa diyos at sa tao. Dahil dito, patuloy lamang ang tao sa pagdanas at pagbibigay kahulugan habang pilit na hindi iniiwan ang landas ng pagpapakatao- iyong tumatangkilik sa kalooban ng diyos at buong-pusong nakikilahok sa pananampalatayang ipinahahayag ng kanyang relihiyon.
Upang maunawaan ang kaibahan ng ordinaryong karanasan sa karanasang relihiyoso, mainam na magkaroon ng sapat na tatas sa kung ano ang pag-unawa sa relihiyon. Ayon kay Ricoeur, mayroong tatlong posibleng etimolohiya ang relihiyon. Ito ang re-ligare, re-legere at re-eligere. Patungkol ang re-ligare sa pagtutukoy kung saan talagang nakatali ang buhay ng isang tao. Mahalagang malaman ng isang indibidwal kung ano ang kanyang mga pagpapahalaga upang maging malinaw kung saan siya patungo at kung paano siya tutungo roon. Kaugnay naman ng pagbabasa ang re-legere. Kapag batid na ng isang tao kung saan nakatali ang kanyang buhay, patuloy pa rin niyang inuunawa at binabasa ang kanyang sariling buhay. Isang mahalagang dimensyon ang re-eligere sapagkat dito patuloy na nagpapasya at pumipili ang indibidwal. Sa larangan ng relihiyon, dito maaring tukuying pumapasok ang pasya na makikita rin sa ikatlong bilog ng tatlong kabilugang hermenyutiko. Dito mapapansing bukod sa sosyal na dimensiyon ng relihiyon, may suhetibong aspekto ito na may panawagang humugot mula sa personal na nibel ng karanasan.
Bagaman posible pa rin ang karanasan para sa isang indibidwal kahit na ipaloob sa isang panaklong ang pananampalataya at mga pagpapahalagang panrelihiyon, hindi maaring tanggalin sa angking kabuuan ng isang tao ang karanasang relihiyoso. May iba’t ibang nibel ang pagdanas ng relihiyon na nakabatay sa isang relihiyong ipinahayag, tulad ng Kristyanismo. Mahalagang nariyan ang mga kasulatan at ang tradisyong kinamulatan ng isang tao. Masasabing ganap ang karanasang relihiyoso kung bagaman sa simula, isang nakamulatan lamang ang relihiyon, ay pinili sa bandang huli at patuloy na pinipili pa rin at pinagpapasyahan habang umiiral ang isang tao. Ito ang nauunawaan at nararanasan ng mga taong malay sa kanilang pananampalataya. Isa sa makapagpapatibay ng isang relihiyon ang dimesyon ng pagiging organisado at kolektibo nito. Maituturing na isang komunidad din ang isang relihiyon dahil maraming tao ang naniniwala sa iisang pananampalataya. Samaktuwid, sa karanasang relihiyoso naisasakatuparan ang katangian ng tao na pagiging relasyunal, kasabay ng pagtanggap na mayroong iba, at mayroong nakahihigit pa.
Ipinalalagay ng mga mananampalataya ng relihiyon na mayroong pinanampalatayanan, iyong nakahihigit at iyong nais matunghayan ng isang sambayanang nananampalataya. Dahil dito, mayroong pagkilala at pagkaako na hindi absoluto ang tao at nakadepende siya sa isang lampas sa tao. Para sa mga Katoliko, malinaw na ang lampas at higit sa taong tinutukoy ng relihiyon ang Diyos na siyang lumikha at patuloy na lumilikha sa sanlibutan. Para sa mga mananampalataya, pinagbabatayan ang relihiyon upang magpakatao sapagkat may kolektibong pagnanais ang isang sambayanang sumasampalataya na manatiling kamukha at kawangis ng Diyos sa pamamagitan ng paggawa ng mabuti at pagmamahal sa kapwa. Madali ring makikita ang impluwensya ng kabutihang nakabatay sa kabutihang ipinahahayag ng relihiyon sa lahat ng antas ng lipunan. Ikinararangal ang mga taong sa kabila ng kahirapan ay nagsusumikap pa ring manatili sa paggawa ng mabuti. Mayroon ding mga naisa-institusyon na ang pagkilala dahil sa paggawa ng mabuti tulad ng Nobel Peace Prize. Madaling makilala ang unibersal na mabuti subalit hindi ganoong agarang maiuugnay ito o masasabing dulot kaagad-agad ng relihiyon o pananampalataya sa isang sumasaibayo sapagkat maraming argumentong maaring ihain upang mapabulaanan ang katagang ito. Ilan sa mga posibleng argumento ang pagpapakabuti ng mga taong hindi naniniwala sa diyos dahil lamang sa lantay na pagmamahal sa sangkatauhan at hindi dahil sa ginagawa nila ang pinaniniwalaang kalooban ng diyos.
Bagaman higit na madaling ipagpalagay na may kabuluhan ang karanasang relihiyoso sa mga dati nang sumasampalataya, higit na problematiko ito kung magpapataw na agarang husga na walang kakayahang magpakatao iyong mga walang pinananampalatayanan. Ilan sa dahilan ng kawalan ng pinanampalatayanan ng tao ay maaring dulot ng pasyang huwag manampalataya o dahil dulot lamang ng limitadong pagsasakasaysayan ng isang indibidwal o pangkat ng tao. Maaring iparatang na hindi makatwiran ang argumentong kailangan ang karanasang relihiyoso upang magpakatao dahil isinasantabi nito ang posibilidad ng pagpapakatao ng mga taong hindi malay sa kung ano ba ang relihiyon tulad ng mga namumuhay sa tribo o iyong namuhay noong bago pa lamang magkaroon ng sibilisasyon. Problematikong sabihing wala pang taong nagpapakatao noon sapagkat wala pang organisadong relihiyon at hindi pa malay ang mga tao sa karanasang relihiyoso. Hindi rin nila itinuturing ang kanilang mga sarili na kamukha at kawangis ng diyos kung sa simula’t sapul, hindi nila kilala ang diyos.
Sa halip na sumang-ayon na lamang na hindi kailangan ang karanasang relihiyoso sa pagpapakatao, hindi maitatangging bukas ang mga sinaunang tao o maging iyong mga taong naninirahan sa hindi pa naaabot ng sibilisasyon o sadyang lumalayo sa sibilisasyon, sa karanasan. Sa pagiging nilikha pa lamang, nariyan na ang natural na pagkiling ng tao sa pakikipagkapwa at pagmamahal. Maaring tumanggi ang tao sa pagmamahal kung saan pipiliin niyang maging masama o magkasala (bagaman maaring hindi niya tinatangkilik o itinuturing na pagkakasala ang kanyang ginagawa) ngunit dahil nilalang ang tao ng diyos, nariyan ang orihinal na pag-ibig na ipinahayag at patuloy na ipinahahayag ng lumikha habang nabubuhay ang isang tao.
Para sa mga tao at indibidwal nang kasalukuyang panahon, kung walang malalim na relihiyosong karanasan ang isang tao, maging dahil sa kanyang pagpiling hindi makaranas o sa kawalan lamang ng pagkakataon, nariyan pa rin ang tikim at silip sa kung anuman ang nararanasan kapag sinasabing dumaranas ng karanasang relihiyoso. Sa ganitong kalagayan, nababawasan lamang ang personal na relihiyosong karanasan ngunit hindi nito natatanggal ng buo ang kolektibong dimensiyon ng karanasang relihiyoso. Halimbawa, may kakayahang gumawa ng mabuti, maging bukas-palad at matulungin ang isang taong hindi naniniwala sa diyos. Kapansin-pansing bagaman nagpasya ang isang indibidwal na humindi sa nagpapahayag at nagpaparamdam na diyos, hindi niya kayang mahindian ng buong buo ang lipunang kanyang ginagalawan na may kolektibong pagpapahalaga sa mabuti- ang mabuting ayon sa kalooban ng nakahihigit, na pinananampalatayanan ng relihiyon. Bilang nilikhang sumasapanahon at sumasalugar, patuloy na magkakaroon ng impluwensya ang kaligiran sa pag-iisip at pagsasagawa ng aksiyon ng isang indibidwal, piliting iwasan pa man niya ito.
Isang unibersal na katangian ng bawat taong nilalang ang pagkakaroon ng kakayahang umakto batay sa kung anuman ang rasyunal na lohika ng kanyang lipunang kinabibilangan. Dahil hindi maikakaila na isinilang ang isang indibidwal sa isang pamilya, o isang lipunan, maliit man o malaki, nariyan pa rin ang dimensyong pagiging relasyunal. Maaring nagbabago ang konteksto ng pagbuo ng relasyon sa kapwa tao, ang kakayahang umiral at dumanas kasama ng kapwa at ang posibilidad na mahalin ang kapwa ay isang mahalagang aspekto ng karanasang relihiyoso. Maaring salungat ito sa tradisyunal na pag-unawa sa relihiyon bilang isang organisasyong panlipunan ng pangkat ng taong may pinananampalatayanan sapagkat walang nagpapahayag, at hindi batid ng mga taong ito na maari silang maging kausap ng isang nagpapahayag, ang patuloy na pasya upang umiral kasama ang kapwa at hayaang umiral sila ay isang manipestasyon ng karanasang maaring hindi mabigyang-ngalan bilang isang karanasang relihiyoso (sa kasalukuyang pag-unawa) ay isang karanasan pa rin na nananatiling maganda at mapayapa sapagkat nagpapakatao at nagpapakabuti ang indibidwal. Maiuugnay ito sa ugnayan ng isang bagay sa pangalan nito kung saan kahit na hindi mabigyang-ngalan ang karanasan (matutukoy na nakapaloob sa karanasang relihiyoso), hindi nangangahulugang nawawala ang pagiging karanasan nito.
Hindi itinatanggi ng kahalagahan ng karanasang relihiyoso sa pagpapakatao at pagpapakabuti na maaring piliin ng isang indibidwal na lumayo o pilitang iwaksi ang kaugnayan niya sa diyos o sa isang sumasaibayong nakahihigit. Ito rin ang masasabing dahilan ng posibilidad ng pagkakaroon ng kasalanan, ang pagpiling iwan ang landas na sana’y nakatakda upang sundin ng isang taong nagpapakatao. Sa kabila nito, kahit itanggi pa ng tao o kahit na hindi malay ang tao na mayroong diyos (na magiging sanhi ng hindi niya paggalaw ukol sa itinakdang mga akto ng isang relihiyon), hindi maiaalis nito na kamukha at kawangis pa rin siya ng diyos dahil isa siyang nilikhang nilalang. Sa tuwina’y nariyan ang katangian ng taong “hindi mauunawaan” ng lubusan at ito ang nagpapahintulot na makipag-kapwa at magmahal, at patuloy na umunawa habang dumaranas.
Kung pagtatambisin ang sumasampalataya sa isang hindi sumasampalataya, higit na mas mainam na batayan ang kakayahang magmahal ng tao kaysa sa nibel ng pagkilala sa diyos na siyang pinatutunguhan ng isang relihiyon sapagkat maging ang mga mananampalataya, hindi nila kayang magbigay patunay na kilala na talaga nila ang diyos na kanilang itinuturing na diyos. Sa ganitong pagsusuri, nagkakaiba lamang ang nananampalataya at hindi nananampalataya sapagkat may pagnanasa at pagtitiyaga ang sumasampalataya na gamiting ang kanyang potensyal (na mananatiling potensyal lamang sa kahabaan ng kanyang pag-iral) upang kilalanin ang diyos. Kinikilala o hindi man kinikilala ang diyos, may pantay na kakayayahang magmahal ang mga sumasampalataya at hindi sumasampalataya. Isang pundamental na katangian ng relihiyosong karanasan ang pagmamahal sapagkat hindi ito maaring maisakatuparan kung walang diyos na siyang batayan, bilang siya ang pinakang-nagmamahal. Masasabing ang pag-iwas sa pagmamahal at sa kabutihan ang humahadlang sa pagpapakatao ng isang tao sa kabila ng pagiging may kakayahan niyang maranasan ito.

Sugat na Salita ni Chretien: Isang Pagmumuni

Isang dialogong sinisikapang makausap at makilala ang Diyos ang panalangin. Nangyayari lamang ito sa pamamagitan ng pagbubukas ng sarili sa siyang kinakausap. Bilang taong nilikha ng Diyos, kasama sa mga katangiang “nariyan na” na oryentasyon na mayroong Diyos na pinatutunguhan. Bilang isang panalangin, nagsisimula ang Proslogion sa pagdarasal na mahanap at maunawaan ang Diyos at ito rin ang ideyang ipinahihiwatig ng katapusan ng Proslogion. Bagaman sa unang paghusga, mapapansing sapat na ang positibong pagpili at pagpapasya ng tao na manalangin upang mahanap ang Diyos, mapatutunayan ng Proslogion ni San Anselmo, sa tulong ng artikulong likha ni Jean-Louis Chrétien na sugát na salita ang Proslogion. Kung itutulak pa, sugát na salita ang anumang uri ng pananalangin sapagkat sugát din ang nagsasagawa nito.

Mahalagang aspeto ng pananalangin ang pagtukoy sa sinasamba bilang “Ikaw” na nangangahulugan ng pagiging isa lamang at maaring nagpapahayag na nariyan at malapit lamang sa nananalangin ang “Ikaw” na tinutukoy bagaman hindi siya nakikita ng nagdarasal. Sa Proslogion kung saan binabanggit ni San Anselmo na “Ikaw Panginoon” upang tukuyin ang Diyos, nagpapaangkin siya sa Diyos na nais niyang makilala at magpakilala sa kanya. Kinikilala niya na nakahihigit ang “Ikaw” na pinatutunguhan ng kanyang panalangin. Sa kabila nito, walang makikitang konkretong patunay ang tao na talagang nag-iisa at isa lamang ang nakikinig, na talagang nariyan siya, na talagang mayroon, na talagang kung mayroon, nakikinig siya. Ayon kay Chrétien, palaging nasa natatalong partido ang panalangin kung ihahambing sa pinatutunguhan nito. Nagiging sugát ang panalangin sapagkat sinusugatan ito ng kanyang pinatutunguhan. Sa paglalayong maiparinig sa pandinig ng isang sumasaibayo na may kakayahang makarinig sa lahat ng pagkakataon, nagsasalita ang nanalangin nang may pag-asang naririnig siya. Sa pagsisimula sa katahimikan at sa pananatiling mayroong katahimikan, mahinahong natatanggap at nabubuo ng nanalangin ang “Ikaw.” Nagsisimulang manalangin ang tao upang marinig siya ng pinatutunguhang umiiral na (o may kakayahan nang makinig) bago pa man siya magsalita. Sa kabila nito, hayagang nananatiling hubad at walang kasagutan ang anumang sabihin ng nanalangin. Sa pananalangin, lalo pang napaiigting ang kawalan ng hawak ng nanalangin sa sariling aktong kanyang ginagawa.

Maituturing na balintunang ang nanalangin pa ang nagpupumilit na ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa niya habang inaako ang kanyang kahinaan at habang patuloy na naglalatag ng kanyang mga ideya sa kabila ng palagiang kawalan ng tugon mula sa kanyang kinakausap. Kung itutulak pa upang higit na maunawaan ang sitwasyong ito habang nananalangin, mapahahalagahan ang katahimikang (o kawalan ng tugon) nangyayari habang nagsasalita ang nagdarasal sapagkat ito ang nagpapahintulot sa kanyang tipunin ang sarili at akuin kung anuman ang handa na niyang akuin upang maiparinig sa kanyang kinakausap. Kung susubuking suriin, tila imposibleng makahanap ng paliwanag kung saan mauunawaan ng tao at tatanggapin na lamang niyang sa lahat ng pagkakataon, hindi niya hawak ang katotohan kahit na magsumikap pa siyang tahakin ang landas patungo rito habang siya’ y nabubuhay. Mahuhulog na lamang ang pagiging sugat ng panalangin kasama ng mga “nariyan na” na katangiang pantao. Bagaman isang limitasyon, sa pag-ako na sugát ang salita at sa pagpapasyang patuloy na manalangin kahit na palagiang sugát ang salita, napahihintulutan ng tao ang kanyang sarili upang sumaibayo at huwag humindi patungo sa landas ng pinatutunguhan ng kanyang panalangin. Sa pagpapasyang hindi huminto upang mapalalim ang pagkilala sa Diyos, napalalalim din ng tao ang kanyang pagkakilala sa sarili at sa sangkatauhan.

Kung pagmumunihan, maaring sabihin na sugát na salita ang panalangin nang sinumang nananalangin sapagkat palagiang sugát din ang taong gumagawa nito. Nagsisilbi ang panalangin bilang tanging paraan ng pagkilala sa pagiging sugat na nilalang ng isang tao. Bilang nilalang na sumasapanahon at sumasalugar ngunit mayroong kalayaan, maari niyang hindi isipin o bigyang-solusyon ang kanyang pagiging sugát na nilalang. Nilalaman ng panalangin ang mga bagay na kumikilala sa kahinaan ng isang tao kung saan siya mismo, ang nananalangin ng isang panalangin, ang nagsasalita. Nakikita rito ang pagpapakumbaba sa harap ng isang hindi nakikita at isang hindi lubusang nakikilala at hinahayaan ng taong manatili siyang bukas, sugát at mahina kung ikukumpara sa sumasaibayong walang maiisip na nakahihigit. Sa simula pa lamang ng Proslogion, batid na ni San Anselmo ang kanyang kahinaan kung kaya’t humihingi siya ng tulong sa Diyos upang siya’y makaunawa. Sa pagdaloy ng mga ideya ni San Anselmo, kabilang ang kanyang pagpapatibay sa pag-iral at mga katangian ng kanyang Diyos, nagtatapos pa rin ang Proslogion sa kanyang kabatirang kailangan niyang patuloy na umunawa pa. Bagaman maaring hindi sa mundong ito niya lubusang maabot ang kagalakan o ang pag-unawa sa kabuuan, mahalagang magsimula na siya sa mundo kung saan umiral siya bilang isang taong sumasakasaysayan.

Maaring ikumpara ang pagiging sugát ng tao sa hangal na tinutukoy ni San Anselmo sa kanyang Proslogion. Hangal ang taong nakaiisip na may Diyos ngunit hindi nanampalatayang umiiral siya. Maaring ipagpatibay na kaakibat ng pagiging sugát na nilalang ang tendensiyang maging hangal, kung hindi man sa tuwina (sa lagay ng mga kumikilala sa kanilang mga sarili bilang aetista at humihindi sa kinikilala nila sa isipan bilang sumasaibayo), maging hangal paminsan-minsan lalo na kung nariyan ang matitinding pagsubok at dagok sa buhay na tila lumalampas sa anumang katuwirang mauunawaan ng isipan ng tao. Kung ganito ang kalagayan, bagaman tila isang parikala kung pakikinggan, mahalagang buksan ang sarili upang malunasan ang sugát na sarili kung saan sugát din ang siyang makagagamot sa kahinaan ng pagkatao- ang panalangin. Kung pipiliing manalangin sa kabila ng mga hindi makatarungang posibilidad sa buhay, masasabing nilalabanan ng isang taong humantong na lamang ang sarili sa nibel ng isang hangal. Pinipili pa rin niyang ilagay ang sarili sa natural at wastong oryentasyon nito bilang isang nilikha at bilang isang may pananampalataya.

Dito makikita ang kahalagahang magkaroon ng kabatiran ang nananalangin kung sino ang kanyang kinakausap sa tuwing nagsasalita upang manalangin. Sa kabila ng kabatiran ng tao na mayroong “Ikaw” na maaring kausapin kung kanyang gugustuhin, hindi palagiang siya ang “Ikaw” na pinagtitiwalaan ng isang nilalang. Kaakibat ng kanyang kalayaan at kakayahang umaalam, may tendensiyang piliin o pagpasyahan niyang hindi sumandig sa “Ikaw” lalo na’t ito ang “Ikaw” na kung wala ang pananampalataya, may tendensiyang maging abstrakto at maaring akusahan na hindi nakikinig dahil hindi naman tumutugon. Posibleng magkaroon ng krisis sa pananamapalataya sapagkat patuloy na mayroong hamon habang patuloy na pinagpapasyahang kilalanin pa rin ang Diyos sa pamamagitang ng isang panalangin. Upang magbigay ng isang makabagong halimbawa, maihahambing sa karanasan ni San Anselmo na tila kakikitaan ng pagkalito habang pilit na nagsusumikap, ang karanasan ni Mother Teresa, tanyag bilang isang mabuting tao na nagwagi pa ng Nobel Peace Prize. Matapos ang kanyang kamatayan, umugong ang balitang sa buong pamamalagi niya sa mundo, palagian siyang nakaramdam ng pangungulila sa Panginoong palagi naman niyang hinahanap at pinapanigan, ang Panginoong siyang may kalooban na pilit niyang sinusunod sa pamamagitan ng pagiging lubusang mabait at mabuti sa kapwa. Kung agaran itong huhusgahan, masasabing hindi patas na siya pa, higit sa lahat ang mapagkumbabang aamin na sa maraming pagkakataon, hindi niya naramdaman na nariyan ang Diyos na palagi niyang kinakausap. Sa dakong huli ng kanyang pagmumuni-muni (ayon sa mga sinulat niya na ipinakita sa Time Magazine), kagalakan pa rin ang huli niyang pasya, “If this brings You glory — if souls are brought to you — with joy I accept all to the end of my life.” Bagaman mayroong kahinaan ang tao, mahalagang manatiling nananampalataya dahil ito lamang ang maaring maging armas ng tao sa pagtahak sa peligrosong pagpapasya sa pagpapatuloy ng karanasang relihiyoso. Nakahahangang nakagawa pa siya ng lubusang mabubuting gawain sa kabila ng pakikipagtunggali niya sa sariling nararamdaman.

Isang hamong maaring ibato sa mga nanampalataya ang posibleng presuposisyon na balintunang manampalataya at magnasang marating at makilala ang Panginoon na sa simula pa lamang, lumikha na ng mga nilalang na mayroong distansya mula sa kanya. Makikitang taliwas ito sa pinaniniwalaang kamukha at kawangis ng Diyos ang tao dahil sugát at hindi perpektong mga nilalang ang tao. Hindi sugát ang siyang sinisikapang patunguhan ng panalangin ng isang tao kundi isang banal at sumasaibayong inaasahan niyang nakikinig sa kabila ng kawalan ng tugon. Sa halip na tanggapin na lamang na ginusto ng Diyos na lumikha ng mga taong hindi perpekto at mga taong patuloy na kakailanganing umunawa at tumugon sa kanilang potensiyal, higit pang mapatutunayan dito na totoong mayroong Diyos na nakahihigit, na siyang natural na oryentasyon ng tao gustuhin man niya o hindi, batid man niya o hindi. Maaring isiping mananatiling mayroong mga hamon sa paglapit ng tao sa Diyos hindi dahil malayo talaga siya kundi dahil nilikha ang taong mayroong sumasakontekstong kalayaan na maaring gamitin sa ibang desisyon, maging ang desisyong hindi na hanapin ang Diyos at hindi na manatiling kasama siya sa pamamagitan ng pagtanggi sa kanya. Taliwas sa pagiging nakahihigit sa lahat ng Diyos kung magiging kapantay lamang siya ng kapangyarihan ng bawat nilalang sapagkat kung mangyayari iyon, hindi na siya Diyos. Kaugnay nito, kinakailangan ang kahandaan at katapangan, kasabay ng pagpapakumbaba sa pagiging “wala” ng tao kung ihahambing sa Diyos, kung pagpapasyahang patuloy na tahakin ang peligrosong pagdanas upang manatiling sugatang nilalang na tinutugunan ng kanyang sugát na lunas ang pagnanais na maabot o masilip ang kagalakan kasama ang Diyos.

Ayon sa Proslogion, isang karanasan ng liwanag na nakasisilaw ang karanasan ng Diyos kung kaya’t bakas lamang ang kayang maranasan ng tao sa Diyos. Sa sitwasyon ni San Anselmo, nagmumula ang kanyang pag-unawa at pagdanas sa pagnanais niyang maunawaan ang karanasang ito. Sa pagpili ni San Anselmo na higit pang umunawa at dumanas, lalo niyang napapansing lumalawig din ang kanyang kagustuhang umunawa pa rin kahit “mayroon na” at nadaragdagan na ang kanyang kaalaman. Masasabing may pangangailangang patuloy na umalam pa dahil dumarami pa ang kailangang malaman na hindi bunga ng paglayo ng Diyos o nang tahasang hindi niya pagpapakilala habang sinusubukan ng taong kumilala kundi habang isinasagawa ng tao ang kanyang akto bilang isang sugát na pananalangin, lalo pang napalalaki ang sugat na ito dahil lalo pang lumalalim ang kanyang pagnanasa na mapunan ang kawalang mayroon siya na unti-unti rin niyang natutuklasan kasabay ng mga aksiyong pinipili niyang pasukin.

Bagaman may posibilidad na makitang balakid ang pagiging sugat na salita ng pananalangin, na marahil na naging dahilan kung bakit marami sa sangkatauhan ang nagpapasya (o hindi man nagpapasya kundi nanatiling hindi kumikibo) na huwag na lamang sumampalataya. Maari itong iugnay sa argumentong kung umiiral man ang Diyos sa isipan ng hangal, higit na madaling mapalalawig ng tao ang paghawak niya sa katotohanan ng katotohanang kanyang tinutuklas kung isasandig na lamang niya sa sarili ang lahat ng kahinaan o kalakasang posible niyang maranasan. Sa kabila ng posibilidad na maging rason ang pagiging sugát na nilalang upang huwag nang magnais na sumaibayo, higit na mainam kung ituturing itong hamon upang lalo pang magsumikap upang marating ang ninanais ng Diyos na marating ng kanyang mga nilikha. Isang sugat na salita ang Proslogion sapagkat bilang isang uri na pananalangin, tinatangkang labanan ni San Anselmo ang argumentong kinahuhulugan ng mga hangal na katulad din ng argumentong maaring panghawakan ng isang taong nabibigo sa kawalang kakayahan ng sariling umalam ng isang buo at hayag na katotohanan at panghawakan ito. Sinisikapang gawin ni San Anselmo ang mahinahong tanggaping hindi maaring isandig sa sarili ang katotohanan dahil hindi ito sa sarili nakabatay. Kung palalalimin pa, hindi maaring mabatid o maranasan sa kabuuan nito, ng taong nilikha lamang ng Diyos ang Diyos. Isang manipestasyon ng pagiging sugát na panalangin ng Proslogion ni San Anselmo ang pahayag ni San Anselmo na “Si comprehendis, non est deus.” Kinikilala ni San Anselmo sa kanyang Proslogion na ang Diyos ang nakahihigit sa anumang maiisip, at iyong wala nang maiisip na hihigit pa habang tinatanggap na sa sandaling maisip niyang matukoy nang may katiyakan kung sino ang Diyos, makasisiguro siyang hindi ito ang Diyos sapagkat hindi maikakahon sa isapan ng isang hamak niyang nilalang ang isang konsepto lamang na maaring gamitin upang matukoy at maunawaan ang Panginoon.

Bago tuluyang matapos ang pananalangin sa Proslogion, nariyan ang kagalakang nadarama ni San Anselmo sapagkat tatas na niya ang ilang mga katangiang maiuugnay sa Diyos. Kabilang dito ang pagiging walang higit na maiisip, iyong higit sa lahat ng maiisip, at ang pagiging sabay-sabay Ama, Anak at Espirito Santo ng Diyos. Sa kabila ng kasiyahang nadarama habang mayroong pag-unawa na mayroong nauunawaan (iyong hindi mauunawaan sa kanyang kabuuan), nananatiling sugát na salita pa rin ang pananalangin ni San Anselmo sapagkat kinakailangan niyang manatiling bukas at patuloy na akuin ang kanyang kakulangan bilang isang tao at patuloy na punan ang kanyang pagnanais na matagpuan ang Panginoon. Sa patuloy na pananampalataya sa kabila ng pagiging sugát na nilalang at pagkakaroon ng kakayahang magsagawa ng dialogo kasama ang Panginoon na may katangiang pagiging sugát na salita rin, tinatahak ng isang tao ang pasikut-sikot ng kanyang buhay, sa mundong ibinigay sa kanya at sa mundo kung saan patuloy siyang nagpapasya bilang tugon sa kung anuman ang ibinigay sa kanya, nang mayroong kagalakan. Maaring hindi ito ang ganap na kagalakan na siyang ipinangako ng Diyos sa kanyang sanilikha subalit ito ang silip at tikim sa kinahahantungan ng sumasaibayong pinatutunguhan habang nagsusumikap ang tao na sabay-sabay magnasa, umunawa, manalangin, magmahal at manampalataya.

Vous ecrivez, pourquoi and THIS WEEK :)

J’ecrive parce que j’aime ecriver.

I write for the love of writing. I write because I want to be good at it. It feels sad how a friend keeps on asking me how I was able to have my work published (because his friend is looking for a sideline). There is nothing wrong with my telling how I submitted my work but I feel like I have been misunderstood.

I write because I have something to write about and I want to write about that something.

I do not really care whether it gets published or it does not. It is true that I earn money from writing but really, I can also earn money from doing something else. I choose to write not primarily because of the financial incentive but because I really enjoy doing it and I really want to train myself to be good at it. That’s just it. It does not feel great thinking that a friend sees writing merely as a form of sideline. I write a lot of things which I earn nothing from. I write a lot of things which only I am able to read. I write a lot of things which I do not publish on my blog. I write a lot of things which do not get published.

THIS WEEK Random

1. Super happy. I did not fail my Crim midterms.
2. Happy. I had lunch with Patrick at Cyma, Greenbelt. I missed him so much. We also stayed in Starbucks Paseo and went Ayala Triangle. I really wished we had stayed until midnight since my Saturday class turned out to be a free cut. I want to tell more stories, and listen to his UP stories. I couldn’t say this much but I really missed him. Although I think a lot of things changed. It felt a little bit different but he was still the friend I had back in college. I was not able to take a picture of him, by the way.
3. Not very happy. I missed a Matanglawin get-together aka Miguel’s birthday party and Arnold’s despidida. I was not able to see my friends.
4. Not very happy. I missed Kat’s despidida. I see Kat as a little sister. She looks like a little girl who is really smart and going to JTA Hongkong this semester. Because of this, I was not able to see other college friends, Eduard, Stif, Phil, Louie and Trisha.
5. Not very happy. I missed a lunch with a friend because of delayed phone messages. I was waiting near the fountain at the Plant. Our time wasted waiting for each other and reading all those delayed messages. He had to go back to work after an hour. But we are okay now.
6. Happy. I am excited for Block E’s pool party for Jermaine’s post birthday celebration.
7. Happy. One of my college best friends, Criselle, will be working for the Marketing Department of Monde Nissin. I am proud of you. I wish you good luck.
8. Happy. I was able to chat with Hermund, one of my college best friends about random things. I miss him. I also miss Bek. They both celebrated their first work anniversary this week.
9. Happy. I am really happy with law school. I have new awesome friends and amazing blockmates.
10. Happy. I keep on getting new projects for my part-time job.
11. Esperance. Je suis en train d’attendre.

:(

This is not the time to rant but I just can't help it. It is not even right to rant. But, I feel like I have not been performing well (not as well as I expected and wanted) with the previous midterms in Persons, Crim and StatCon.

I don't know. Maybe, I am just pressured with the grades I need to maintain.

But, upon reflection, it is not just the grades or the maintenance of my scholarship. Of course they are included BUT.

BUT I CAN'T FAIL THE GENEROUS AND KIND-HEARTED PEOPLE WHO HAVE GIVEN ME THE GIFT AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO PURSUE MY DREAM. I CAN'T FAIL MY BENEFACTORS. I CAN'T FAIL THE PROFESSORS AND PEOPLE WHO TRUSTED ME AND GAVE ME GOOD (IF NOT GREAT) RECOMMENDATION LETTERS. I CAN'T FAIL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. MOST OF ALL (OR WORST OF ALL) I CAN'T FAIL MY SELF. I CAN'T FAIL THIS DREAM. (i don't think i'm failing. i wish it is right. but i am underperforming and i don't know why. i read the books. i read them twice.) :((((

AND WHEN YOU HAVE A DREAM YOU WORK HARD FOR IT. I KNOW I HAVE WORKED HARD ENOUGH. I COULD HAVE WORKED TOO HARD TO GET MY GOALS.

I wish this is all paranoia. I don't want to be there, and suddenly be not there. Law School is sweet and I am loving this sweetness. I hope it loves me back.

I am in it for my dream. And I am and should be in it until the end.

I wish I have the friends who were with me when deciding to really do all the things to make it to Ateneo Law School.

MAGIS!!! :(

PH112 Reflection Papers

There is a reason why I am posting these reflection papers online :)

Reflection Paper 1 (Reflection Paper on The Analects)

Human beings are potential beings. With this statement, it seems natural for human beings to always move for progress towards actualization. Thus, human beings have omnipresent longing and desires as the fact of being absolutely complete is not attainable. There will always be room for improvement, dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve. Transcendence entails facing each miniature battles in order to get to the greater and higher level. However, this implies a continuous struggle for survival. The term “struggle” does not necessarily equate to something strenous but this certainly includes continuous movement in order not to lag behind.
Wealth and honor are what every man desires because these statuses affirm superiority and the luxury of working less than other human beings would. However, having wealth and honor is still not the actualization a human being can have. Thus, upon being convinced that these two are already possessed, human beings still have the natural tendency to want for more. It seems impossible to treat this human desire in a teleogical manner becuase wealth and honor can not be seen as an ultimate end because life, as long as person lives, will just give opportunities to acquire more. The end might possibly be acquisition of everything by a single person which is impossible because the world in inexhaustible. Because there is no definite telos, the human desire is characterized by a nature of continuity to aim for more.
While there is nothing wrong with aiming for wealth and honor or more so, for more wealth and honor, the steps towards attaining these two should coincide with moral principles and humanity. Any diversion from morality and humanity defeats the purpose of getting wealth and honor for the sake of human progress. If they (wealth and honor) have been obtained in violation of moral principles, they must not be kept. Honor that has been obtained in violation of moral principles does not deserve to be called “honor” anymore. Should there be an insistence to still term as “honor” what has been gotten through ways that do not fall in accordance with humanity, what is left is mere superficial honor that neither the self nor others genuinely respect and acknowledge. In addition to the fact that honor must not be kept if it has been attained in violation of moral principles, it is evident that it can not be kept. Contrary to this, wealth garnered in violation of moral principles must not be kept even if it is possible to keep it. If a wealthy person chooses to keep immoral wealth, this acquisition is futile because it is not directed towards personal actualization. It does not benefit others as it deprives other people who could have acquired this wealth in a virtuous manner. At the same time, it goes against the nature of the human person that is societal because acquistion not made according to moral principles merely focuses on the self and ignores the need to be relational and sincere in dealing with fellow human beings.
There are conditions in life that human beings have the tendency to aim for and there are also conditions that can be described as negative that a person would naturally avoid them. Usually, it is normal for human beings to exert effort for the avoidance of the things and situation that would deprive them of liberty and comfort. These situations include poverty and being in a humble station. Poverty and being in a humble station are what every man dislikes. Being by nature societal, poverty puts a person in the lower level of the social stratum. Poverty deprives a person to get some of the things needed and wanted in life. Thus, while poverty may not be the direct reason for being unhappy, this poses some relevance for being so.
Given the capacity to act for or against something, a person would naturally opt to move away from poverty and humble station. Upon having this initial choice of what to do, a person also has to make choices on how to act out in order to achieve the initial goal. While freedom allows the person to choose, the sets of choices are not unlimited. Life is not a utopia of endless possibilities because the freedom of the human person is always merely contextualized and situated. There needs to be careful deliberation and weighing of benefits with disadvantages in coming up with a decision. There needs to be a priority which a person would always put at the topmost of the factors to consider when given limited possibilities. If they (poverty and being in a humble station) can be avoided only in violation of moral principles, they must not be avoided. Not even the certainty of a life lived in discomfort justifies the violation of moral principles. It is better to endure poverty and being in a humble station than give in to the temptation of going against humanity for personal gains. There is a need for fidelity to oneself and at the same time, the love for others. Thus, poverty should only be avoided in a way that the means of avoidance would not pose any harm or threat to fellow human beings. Human-heartedness is the most important virtue and it is possible to live through this praxis even if a person is not living in wealth.
The “superior man” in the philosophy of Confucius is none other than the hsun tze, the gentleman and scholar, the ideal man . A superior man never departs from humanity even if there is an opportunity or a tendency to do so. If the superior man gives in to temptation and commit acts against humanity, the superior man loses the title of being a superior man. Not even a good motivation justifies the violation of a man to humanity. A superior man always acts with modesty and caution and never abandons humanity for the lapse of a single meal.
Ren is the basic guiding principle of a superior man and in moments of haste, he acts according to it. It is certain that there will always be moments of haste and confusion because the superior man lives in a complex world. In moments of difficulty and confusion, he acts according to it (moral principles). The knowledge and freedom a person has are the determining factors on how a person will live. The emphasis of Chinese philosophy is on what is (moral qualities) rather than what he has (intellectual and material capacities) . Thus, the possession of knowledge and freedom does not equate to immediate superiority because the more important thing is how this human being utilizes what is by nature given in order to transform into practice what could remain stagnant as thoughts and potential, if left unused. A superior man lives through ren in the spatio-temporal dimension of living everytime. This person is not born with the title superior as superiority among human beings is not inherently present. Although human beings are by nature the same, how human beings exhibit praxis differs and this is what determines a superior man from a man.

Reflection Paper 2 (Reflection Paper on The Doctrine of the Mean)

The human nature is not a blank slate. The self as a being does not emanate from tabula rasa or from nothingness. Human nature states that there is already something inherent to human beings. It suggests that there is an omnipresent nature for human beings to nurture and cultivate. This innate given is the goodness of human beings. However, the goodness quality of each individual does not equate to a world (characterized by interrelationships) that is good in all places, all the time. In spite of the goodness quality of human beings, the reality of living in the world would prove otherwise- that evil and injustice exist.
One may wonder why injustice and inequality exist given that human nature is equally present to individuals. This is due to the fact that in spite of the innate goodness, human beings are also given the capability to hone knowledge and exercise freedom. Before a person can exercise freedom, gain knowledge, and become an arbiter on what is good and what is bad for the self, sincerity is already present. These are the two dimensions of being- passive and active, which suggest that the goodness of human nature which is passive and given should be acted upon by an active response which is education or the cultivation of what one has.
Freedom allows the person to cultivate this goodness, to go against it, or to merely live, with this inherent goodness, taken for granted. Non-cultivation of the human goodness may not be the deliberate choice of human beings; it could be the mere result of desperate attempt to practice sincerity because living out sincerity is a difficult path of mustering the self before it can comprehend and transcend to the nature of others, of things and of the universe. The transcendence of the self entails being able to put into praxis a moral and ethical life in spite of adversity.
Human beings are potential beings. With this statement, it seems natural for human beings to always move for progress towards actualization. Human beings aim for a telos. This telos is the actualization where the self, the things and the universe fall into the right place. However, the falling into place of the self, in relation to others does not equate to reaching a tangible and physical spot that can be located in the spatio-temporal realm. The completion in the form of a union is metaphysical. In as much as the completion of the internal self is essential, the completion of the self that is mentioned in this passage, which can be achieved through sincerity, has a deeper meaning and goes beyond the internal. The authentic completion of the self is the fulfilment of the relations of the self- to others, to society, to things and to the universe. The most vital factor for the completion of the self (unity of the self and nature) is sincerity which brings everything to integral wholeness.
In fact, the total communion of the self with the universe should abolish the separation of the internal and the external from the self because the end means the wholeness and oneness, eliminating the delineation of the self from others. This point is the absolute manifestation of the social dimension of human beings, capable of building interrelationships not just to fellow human beings but also to the things, nature and the universe.
In this case, the definition of sincerity is not limited to simple earnest or genuine feeling. Sincerity is not just a feeling but is a way of living. A life lived in sincerity is a life lived according to The Way. The Way is self-directing however, this self-direction can still be distorted. A human being, with freedom can choose to divert from living out the Way (but not from the Way itself because the Way is very near to man) if he or she happens to be totally encroached upon by worldly matters. Cultivating the Way is called education. From the Latin word educare, education does not end with the grasping of ideas from outside. The point of departure is the self, the human nature that has inherent goodness and sincerity.
There is no precise definition of The Way. However, it can be perceived that living according to the doctrine of the mean can be equated to The Way. Confucius interpreted the mean as not going behind and not falling short. The Way requires the recognition by human beings of the human nature. Only in this can ethics and morality be pursued. In the pursuance of moral perfection, sincerity is essential because sincerity is the only way to attain the actualization of morality. Sincerity is given but it needs to be put into practice and deliberately be chosen through freedom, as a way of life, by human beings. The beginning is always the self. Sincerity is said to be the beginning and end of things. Sincerity is a precondition for being, where being implies the self, in unity with nature and not merely biological and physical survival. Without sincerity, there would be nothing.
The superior man values sincerity. The “superior man” in the philosophy of Confucius is none other than the hsun tze, the gentleman and scholar, the ideal man . The superior man lives out sincerity and lets The Way be. The superior man does not easily give in to worldly temptation of escaping the difficult path of the Way when presented with other easier choices. The superior man seeks to transcend the facticity of the self. Transcendence entails facing each miniature battles in order to get to the greater and higher level. However, this implies a continuous struggle for survival. The term “struggle” does not necessarily equate to something strenuous but this certainly includes continuous movement in order not to lag behind and to keep the self according to The Way.
Ren is the basic guiding principle of a superior man. It is certain that there will always be moments of haste and confusion (threats for divergence from living through the Way) because the superior man lives in a complex world. When thrown into an extreme situation when decisive actions should be implemented, the superior man acts with sincerity to the Way and exemplifies the mean. A person who acts contrary to the mean and inappropriately to what is given is not a superior man, but an inferior man. The superior man has the distinguishing characteristic of a being who loves humanity. The completion of the self means humanity. The self as the nearest point of departure and means for living out the Way can only be completed upon the realization of the goodness of human nature and the cultivation of this good. When a human being is able to understand his or her nature, he or she can understand the nature of others, the nature of things, and the universe.
The completion of all things means wisdom. Wisdom is possessed by the sage. A sage is a spiritual being who forms a triad with the Heaven and the Earth. The sage suggests a superior man who has metaphysical and mystical characteristics. Before arriving at the metaphysical level, the beginning is still the human nature which allows sincerity to result to enlightenment. However, the movement is not a mere passive motion characterized by effortless situatedness. There is an active dimension which is education. Education is the cultivation of the Way that ends with sincerity, given enlightenment. The cyclical motion of sincerity to enlightenment and sincerity shows that sincerity indeed, is the beginning and end of things. Sincerity binds the three interrelated realms of the Chung Yung- ethical, political and metaphysical, and unites the self to what is outside the self, creating an integral wholeness that might oscillate at times but would always revert back to the harmony of the equilibrium.

Reflection Paper 3 (Reflection Paper on The Tao Te Ching)

Human beings have been living with too much concern for the image of the self. While the protection of the self and its image is essential, overdoing it may not be the most effective way. People have chosen to be discreet and tactful to the point that the truth is masqueraded for the sake of not offending others and maintaining a diplomatic image of the self. In living, there are universal values which should be observed. While altruism towards others is important (often manifested in the effort to not hurt others and be nice), there is also an ethical responsibility to safeguard the truth and not distort it for the sake of other reasons like acting in a non-offensive manner.
True words are not beautiful. True words are not beautiful because they include the harsh reality of the world. True words reveal the flaws of human beings and the imperfections of their actions that have resulted in a world which is far from utopia. True words lack euphemisms and any attempt to divert from the meaning of the truth because the attempt to divert from the real meaning poses a threat of misunderstanding or not understanding at all. On the other hand, beautiful words are not true. The end that uses beautiful words as its means does not aim for the truth. It simply wants to keep a safe and good image of the person who utters these beautiful words. In addition to this, beautiful words are used to live a life of denials which is counterproductive because of the absence of acceptance of what is real. With this, what is bad is not given solution but simply presented as good.
A good man does not argue because this act shows arrogance and places the self superior to his or her fellow human beings. Arguing implies other things like the readiness of a person to use all the strength he or she has and the preparedness to violate and win over that of the others. A good man does not have any intention to show off himself. He who argues is not a good man. A good man lives according to the Tao which according to Lao Tze has a metaphysical meaning of an all-embracing principle responsible for the coming to being of the universe. Tao is against arrogance and the superiority assumed by a person who argues manifests this negative act. A good man is one with the others and does not seek dominance but always interdependence, oneness and welfare for everybody.
The sage desires what is undesired. The sage lives simply and makes desires few so as to satisfy only the basic needs and not aim for luxury for the self. The sage does not accumulate for himself. A person of wisdom knows that accumulation is not to be used as a virtue in living because the productive way of living does not have an outside-inside motion. A life framed by the desire to accumulate is bound to fail because the world is inexhaustible and it is impossible to deprive all the others of what they have; thus, the end of personal accumulation is not an achievable end and will only make a person unsatisfied and always in a greedy desire for more. Mastering the self is important to be enlightened before it can relate to others and be one with the others. The more the sage uses for others, the more he has himself. The more he gives to others, the more he possesses of his own. The sage is an ideal man who lives in a community with others. Communal progress should be emphasized because in this way, chaos will be prevented and peaceful coexistence would be possible.
Wisdom is not achieved through studying and deliberate acquisition of knowledge. A wise man has no extensive knowledge. A wise man recognizes the impossibility of knowing everything. The fact that the ideas and information that can be learned is inexhaustible does not connote a negative concept. It is simply a manifestation of the limitedness of human beings and the necessary acceptance of this situatedness. He who has extensive knowledge is not a wise man. Furthermore, a person aiming to gain extensive knowledge is not a wise man. However, this does not mean that a wise man does not have knowledge at all. There is a difference between primitive ignorance and cultivated ignorance. Knowledgelessness or the dispossession of knowledge is a conscious choice of the sage in order to live a simple life and to let go of the desire to acquire more. However, this does not suggest that all desires should be extinguished. Desires should be moderated and only the excess should be discarded. There is a motion driven by the principle of self-emptying to achieve simplicity and reach the point of non-activity or the Wu Wei.
The mere act of desiring to possess extensive knowledge does not pose the desire for wisdom but this desire diverts and rejects the natural path to wisdom. Wisdom begins with the acknowledgement of the incapability of a person to know everything. There is always a tendency for a person to live a frustrated life if the acquisition of knowledge and other material and worldly things becomes the telos. There will always be more to grasp and more to own and the desirous human being would end up living with futile disappointment and perpetual unsatisfaction. According to Lao Tze, too many desires can result to the loss of the original Te. The loss of the original Te has detrimental effect to the Tao. One cannot live the Way in a fruitful manner if he or she has not the inherent nature of a human being to be cultivated according to the Way.
The last two lines of Tao Te Ching present the necessary interrelationship between the self and others. Both the Way of Heaven and the Way of the sage value the importance of being in harmony with others. The Way of Heaven is to benefit others and not to injure. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete. In spite of rejecting competition as a means of achieving things, the sage skilfully achieves victory. This is also in accordance to Wu Wei which suggests acting with naturalness and spontaneity. The naturalness of the way a human being acts is based upon the given Te and the way it is lived or Tao. Having no intention to compete with others also manifests simplicity and does not place the individual to a self-imposed superiority above others. The human person should act naturally and in coexistence with other individuals in a society. The desires should be moderated in order not to have conflicts with the desires of other people and for the safeguarding of the Te which includes the inherent characteristic of a human being.

Law Life (less and more)

Well, I see them on Facebook. I talk to them through YM, Skype, or text messages. My friends, I mean. Aside from the fact that I have been busy these past months, there is just this simple fact that distance is really one of the big issues friends need to deal with after graduation. From my Philosophy classes, distance can be both a matter of space and time. Of course, we are not bound to see each other if we are living miles away from each other, if we are working in different cities, if we are studying in different schools. Nowadays, the distance between me and some friends seem very distinct that we really do not have the opportunity to meet physically. I hate the fact that whenever either of the party would have the time, laziness comes in. I also have this laziness on my part. If it is going to take me almost 2 hours to get to my friend’s place, I would rather “postpone” that meeting some other time, when I will have “more time.” The problem now comes in, when will that “more time” come and how am I to distinguish when a given time is actually “more” than what other opportunities would provide.

Because of my being so far away (or at least I feel this way) and having not much time:

1. I have not returned yet my friend’s DVD, which I should return in UPD. I have not sat in in her class. Sorry Mika.
2. I have not returned yet my friend’s NMAT reviewers which I borrowed from long time ago. Sorry Micha.
3. I always fail to meet this friend I really miss just because we both do not have time and we both are lazy. Even if, I desperately need and want to see you. You know who you are. Ow em gee, I miss you. But our midterms is coming and I am afraid we will be seeing each other after the semester, but after the semester, we might not be in Manila.
4. Number four will be a lot of et cetera.

However, I am really happy right now, having met awesome people from my block, from Ateneo Law School and from my former work. I am just a bit bothered or out mere curiosity, when will I see them again? Good thing there is Harry Potter, I will get to see some friends.

Because I also miss you Philo: Or probably this is a concrete example of the limitedness of being and I need to learn to totally enjoy “ici et maintenant” “hic et nunc” without being so trapped with an awesome past from which I can not totally move on from (I don’t think I need to move on anyway. I just need to deal with it.)

I remember a song from grade school which goes like this, “Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” I am missing my gold. I know I am on my way to acquiring my new golds but I am really missing the old golds I have.

It is up to me to make Consti, Person, Crim, LegRes, LegProf, Philo, StatCon to make all these sacrifices worth it.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, if you know what I mean :)

“Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned.”

2nd floor,
3rd floor,
text messages,
Heights,
Thesis,
POS131 paper,
Prok,
Videoke,
Org events,
library,
Philo,
Theo,
Pancake House,
Persepolis,
Gonzaga Caf,
KFC,
Mcdo,
Jollibee,
Kenny,
Trinonama,
G,
Fullybooked,
UAAP,
Pizza Hut,
Shakeys,
Red Brick Road,
Up,
UP,
jeep,
footbridge,
Katips,
Gate 2.5,
Plurk,
YM,
resignation,
Evsem,
email,
Caltex store,
Gateway,
Cubao,
MOA,
Door,
Sorry,
Shirt,
ISO,
War freak,
Never,
Ordinary,
Write-up,
M,
Ice cream,
Facebook,
Books,
LRT2,
Movies,
Italian,
EU,
Inquirer,
Blog,
Math,
J,
Clockwatching,
Writing,
Jesuit Residence,
RB,
F.B.
Passion,
Neglect,
Forgeting,
Lovey doves,
Labidabs,
Friendship,
Love,
The Economist,
Passing,
Gold,
False,
Lunch,
Tutor,
Groupmates,
2nd year,
Christmas Party 2009
Ate T.
R,
Parties,
Drinks,
P,
Thank you,
S, C, E,
Photoshop,
Spoon,
Bag,
Hairstyle,
Bas,
Smile,
Late,
500 days of summer,
Summer,
Love Actually,
Love of Siam,
Love Me if You Dare

"Because the world will die without it, go with LOVE."

"Because the world will die without it, go with LOVE."

This has been my favorite line and YM status since I first heard of this phrase, during Pabaon 2011 in Ateneo de Manila University. Father Ben included a poem/prayer in his speech and this line was the last line of that poem/prayer. I do not know who the original author of this poem/prayer is. This line was also made prayer of Ateneo Law School OrSem Day 1. This line is just so lovely and beautiful. I see it as the ultimate maxim for a person who is in doubt and indecisive for some issues. When in doubt, go with love.

The entire poem goes like this. [I use poem to refer to this one because of lack of a better term to name these lines.]

Because the world is poor and starving, go with bread.
Because the world is filled with fear, go with courage.
Because the world is in despair, go with hope.
Because the world is living lies, go with truth.
Because the world is sick with sorrow, go with joy.
Because the world is weary of wars, go with peace.
Because the world is seldom fair, go with justice.
Because the world is under judgment, go with mercy.
Because the world will die without it, go with love.

Inspired

I easily get inspired by people. These days, I have been feeling scared and uncertain about my future. But I guess, everybody is, uncertain at least. I have been bothered with my feeling scared but I could not do anything about it. There seems to be no strong wall that I could lean on. Of course, my fear is founded on the fact that I might be pursuing something that I want to pursue but should not be pursued right now, taking up law.

In spite of the uncertainty, I plunged myself into it because of not having a personal response to this question, "Kung ngayon, paano. Kung hindi ngayon kailan?" I decided to just jump into it without knowing how, without a definite answer to the "paano" question. I believed (and still believe) that it might be easier to work on the how as I continuously face life on a daily basis, instead of facing life everyday and get bothered by the question "when"

Back to the real topic of my post, I GET EASILY INSPIRED BY PEOPLE. So here is a direct quote from one of my bosses in my first job right after college. [I will be leaving this job this week, in order to fully pursue that which I chose to pursue, law school]

Hi Chikit, it's only now that I was able to read your article. It reminded me of my 1st year here in Manila where I had to scrimp and forego merienda - even jeepney rides coming from school homewards. With your resourcefulness, industry and drive, I know God will bless you with success in your endeavors.

It was a Skype message which I read upon arriving in the office. With all the nervousness I was feeling because I need to finish work tasks and at the same time, read for tonight's quiz in Philosophy of Law, I managed to write this post for the mere fact that I felt inspired.

19 November 2009

The Start of Everything :D :D :D It all started with PLURK. It ended with (IDK). But it needs to STOP. STOP. MOVE ON.

30 May 2011

On Wasting Gold

"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember."

It is my friend's YM status today. I can't believe how until now, two months after graduation, I am still battling with myself to forget someone in order to move on and be happy with what I am, with what I have now, EVEN WITHOUT HIM. Correction, I am happy now. It's just that sometimes, out of the blue, I think about him (but not the usual thinking-about-him as I used to think about him before) For example, I read this status from my friend, I remembered him.

The thing is: I believe I can live well without him. I have a lot of things to do to just continue thinking about him. I am currenly making this blog all because I want to reflect, because my friend's YM status is worth reflecting about.

Living without him is not the issue now. It is more of, "nasasayangan lang ako sa mahigit isang taong ginugol ko para sa taong ito, para mauwi lang sa WALA." I mean, I spent most of my time with him. I could have spent it with other friends. C'est dommage.

I want to forget, not because I hate him. It's more of feeling nothing, not love, not anger, not hatred, a bit of bitterness perhaps. But more of bitterness because I wasted so much time, having spent my time with a guy who I think was not worth it anyway. A guy who I considered a friend but did not regard me as his friend.

It's hard to forget especially if you keep on remembering you wasted TIME! I wasted gold. I wasted gold.

"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember."

I MISS

OKAY. FIRST DAY OF CLASS. I MISS ATENEO LOYOLA SCHOOLS. I MISS UNIVERSITY DORM. I MISS MVP. I MISS PUB ROOM. I MISS RIZAL LIB. I MISS GONZAGA CAF. I MISS THE RED BRICK ROAD. I MISS KATIPS.

Friday Glee

Fine ang daming haters pero love na love ko ang Glee version ng Friday. As in nagdiriwang ang puso ko ngayon sa LSS kahit na di ko mapanood dahil blocked sa work. Pero OMG sumaya ako haha. LSS LSS LSS. fun fun fun. Hindi ko na yata maa-outgrow ang pagmamahal ko sa mga songs na walang kwenta lang =)) HAHA

Plurk

I remember how I earned negative karma (many times) (no matter how I was obsessed with getting to nirvana) for plurking more than 30 times a day; how I reached nirvana three times for three different accounts (that I had to close to focus on acads) Things I did (I still do on FB) when I (was) [addicted to the internet and in love with a guy who had(s) Plurk (and who has FB now)]

(blush) (dance) (rofl) (lmao) (headspin) (gym)

Untitled

Back in freshman year, I had a dream friend. He was an impossible dream because it was highly unlikely that we would have mutual friends. I studied in a school where I was the only one from my highschool and probably one of the few from my province. I wanted him to become my friend because I was really impressed with his writing. I was amazed at how he writes so eloquently in Filipino, much better than the best student writers I have met when I was still a highschool campus journalist. I read his work from one of the campus publication. His work got published because he won first prize for essay writing in Filipino. His work changed my whole view of how it is to write well. Ever since I read his article, I vowed to myself to practice writing and to do it well. He was my idol. I was his fan.

Fortunately, after several months, I realized that we were organization mates. We were both members of Matanglawin, the official student publication in Filipino of the Ateneo. For my first article in Matanglawin, I was lucky to have worked with two other fellow writers and him. I thought I grabbed the opportunity to know him then but we did not become close friends because we divided the work by pairing up and I got paired with another writer. I missed the chance when I was in sophomore year but the desire within me to become friends with this guy was never lost. He was my fellow writer. I was his organization mate.

We became good friends in junior year. Friendship, it just happened. He turned out to be very approachable. I did not have to create extra efforts to befriend him as he was naturally amiable. We would hang out everyday in the publication room. We would chat online every night. We would talk on Plurk all the time. We would go on lunch and dinner together. I would sometimes accompany him to attend to his personal matters and he would do the same. We would share secrets only the two of us know. We would travel places for our organization and take it as given that we would be bus seatmates. He would invite me to watch a movie but unfortunately the plans never pushed through. Some common friends labeled our relationship as “intimate” and we did not mind. I was happy with him and I assume he also was. There was a point in my life when if I were to rank my friends from top to bottom, he would occupy the first slot. I might have not been very significant to him but he became one of the most important friends I have from college. I asked him to write my write-up for the yearbook and he did it for me. He was my friend. I was his friend.

What happened was both a personal and social achievement. I got what I wanted- friendship. However, in the middle of the intimate conversations, I fell in love. I believe it was not absurd to fall for a friend. It happens often to different people from all walks of life. I kept it to myself for quite some time but common friends came to know about it after almost a year of keeping it to myself. I did not care too much about them knowing and about him knowing because I used to think he would understand because we were friends. I used to believe he would not take it against me and things would be the same because I never expected for something more than his friendship. I was perfectly satisfied with us being friends. He was my friend. I was his lover. I was his FRIEND.

As hopeless as a hopeless romantic, romance did not go my way. My first love turned out to be unrequited love. At first I did not mind primarily because I have never really dreamed of us loving each other as a couple. However, there was a point when my love transformed into love with the slight flavor of bitterness because as time went by, I was not only experiencing unrequited love but also unrequited friendship. We never talked about it. Not-being-friends-as-how-we-used-to-be, it just happened. I used to blame myself. Perhaps, had I not fallen for him, we could have been friends, nothing more and nothing less. I remembered a friend once advised me to not be bothered because friends do not break up as lovers do. I was his friend. I was his hopeless romantic trying to kill love for his friendship.

Deep in my heart was a realization that friends do not break up but they move apart. I tried my best to arrive at rationalizations to answer my questions questioning love, questions questioning friendship. Friendship is a human relationship governed by motion, constantly moving- moving towards, moving apart, moving away. One moves towards a prospective friend. When he realized I was falling, he moved away. We moved apart. In my deepest attempt to forgive myself, to understand him, and to forget, I cannot allow it to have a broken and bitter ending. While still governed by motion, I need to move forward. It was difficult I needed to kill love to salvage a friendship when the person on the other end does not want to be saved (or does not even care).

Up to this time I wonder how and when the friendship ended. It is trivial how one could be involved and not really know what is happening. Since we both graduated as batchmates, we no longer see each other everyday as part of the same organization. However, I firmly believe we would see each other again. Why not? According to Facebook, we are sharing 72 common friends. Compared to my humble beginning of having to dream from scratch, I could still dream an old dream and have these 72 possible ways to reach him. Who knows, my old dream might take me to a mysterious path and allow me to create a 73rd means to salvage a long lost friendship? I am his friend.

humigit kumulang tatlong buwan

Blogging about senioritis as a sickness is not an effective solution to cure it. It would make you cry and stop and cry and stop then cry again (Probably the reason why this note is unstructured, jumps ideas from paragraphs to paragraphs. Na parang each paragraph, kailangang tuyuin ang luha dahil ang weird naman ng hitsura ng bonggang bonggang umiiyak habang nagta-type) So if you care to read this, you can read just a paragraph at a time haha.

I could not go to sleep even if I am really tired today. I am sick, yes, senioritis. I tried to go to bed and get myself covered with blankets while feeling the soft pillow beneath my head and staring at the ceiling. I could not believe that within less than three months, I would surely be doing most (if not all of the following)

1. Move out of the Udorm and find another place
2. Clear my “Tagapamahala ng Pandayan” cabinet in the Matanglawin publication room
3. Drop the label “undergraduate” or “AB EU” student
4. Have the clearance for graduation signed by the offices concerned
5. Say good bye for now to college friends
6. Apply for jobs

I was counting the academic requirements (4 written midterms, 2 long tests, 2 final oral exams, 1 final video project, 3 long academic papers, 3 major presentations, 1 model UN, a novel to finish, and I might have skipped some) before graduation and the events I need to organize (COP Sportsfest, Hulagway, Bertigo, Rubdob, LAST EVSEM) for my organization. I said to myself, “February to March would be hell. I would need to work my ass off to meet requirements, duties and deadlines.” Ang daming requirements, ang konti na ng oras. Parang gusto ko nang isuko o matulog na lamang at magising na tapos na ang lahat nang bigla kong maisip na ayokong matapos, ayoko pa. Naiisip ko, baka hindi ko pa kayang iwan ang comfort zone ng college life. Fine, college life is of course difficult, but I am scared of what is out there, what is out there away from the people you met and loved for four years.

Na iyong akala kong totoong totoong buhay ay iiwan upang sumaibayo at harapin ang sinasabi nilang “higit na totoong buhay.

I don’t know how to cure this or if I need to cure this. Na para bang, ayaw ko nang tumambay sa orgroom dahil napipilitan akong magcountdown. Na parang nakakatuwa na ang whiteboard sa orgroom, days lang ang nakalagay at walang months (I would hate to see a January there, much more a March. I would never get the chance to see April though.)

Random fact: I feel like I am very much attached to college life. I think this is true to every graduating student. Na pwede bang i-suspend ang finals week, ang blue roast, ang bigayan ng grad pics at aegis year book? Na sana huwag ko na munang pag-abalahan ang pag-iisip sa unimaginable condition na what-you-call after graduation.

Dear friends,

es,yu,el,i,ti,en en,a,ti,en a,en,ji o,ar,a,es
ay el,o,vi,e way,o,yu

As of now, I think I would rather bear a series of a series of a series of mega hell weeks than be placed in that spacio-temporal dimension of March 2011, Ateneo de Manila University.

Just so you know, I LOVE YOU

Random facts:

1. It felt perfect when we were together, even just as friends. It was perfect.
2. When that thing happened during last year’s semestral break, I did not know what to do. I did even know how to cope. And I still have this big question: Were you telling the truth?
3. When I had not seen you for two months, no communication, I felt sad and empty.
4. When you made attempts (or probably they were not attempts, I just assumed they were) to talk, I felt happy and thankful and missing you.
5. Last summer, you broke my heart. As in, you broke my heart. I cannot elaborate everything here, but ohlalala.
6. I am thankful for writing me or editing for me my writeup.
7. Since this number corresponds to your name, I want you to stay. I want us to stay, even just as friends.

If one day you read this, just so you know, not for any other thing, but just so you know, I love you. And no matter how much I want to put a D in this verb, I can not or I just can not do it yet. So there you go, I love you.

I think about you all the time. Can I just say that “all the time” here is not an exaggeration. And stop calling me hopeless romantic. This is not even romantic. I’d rather accept this situation as hopeless than romantic or hopeless romantic. Believe me it is true when I say that I want to see you everyday. And mind you, I do not even have the right but I always get jealous whenever you hang around with someone else. I mean what have you done to me? I have never felt anything like this before, to the point that something bad happens to you, I feel like I am the most affected person. Something good happens, I rejoice for you, much more your closest friends do (believe me, this is true). You are not the most handsome guy in this world, how come you have captured my heart for more than a year now (1 year and two months to be exact). It was a good thing back then. You were really inspiring. But the situation today and nowadays is totally different. I mean, we do not have time for each other (or even if we do, I feel we/you would rather spend the precious time for someone or something else) So back to the point that I feel jealous even if I do not have the right to. I could not stop asking why in the first place have you chosen me (or if you did not deliberately choose me, why did we become together more than each of us became together with someone else, other than ourselves)? I wanted you to be my friend even before I met you (I admit that and I have told you many times this fact) So is this the reason why we became friends? That you just gave in or welcomed my implicit invitation to become friends. With all honesty, I just wanted us to become friends, nothing more, back then. But hey dearie, can I just say you have gone too far, much farther than what my other friends get or know of me. Or was it my fault to have given too much of myself, too much of my time, too much of my trust, too much of my attention, too much of my love (or love is a strong word, too much of my liking). I have a lot of questions because I want to understand but how can I even ask questions that have the possibility of being valid only in my end and not with yours. Perhaps I have given things too much meaning. I cannot just arrive at a rationalization that I should not be sad that it ended, I need to happy that it happened. It is painful to accept especially because I have never wanted it to end and I do not want the tense of “to happen” to be in the past tense. I want it in the present or future. Or if everything needs to end just when I am not yet ready, please let me know why did you let all things to start, to begin with? Or maybe it is a question I should be asking to myself. But please, if you know you are this person, can you please, please answer the questions, you know you are capable of answering. I have a lot of questions. I have a lot. They might be left unanswered forever. It is a sad thing to always wake up in the morning knowing that I do not have the answers and the only person who might give me a glimpse of the truth is not willing to give me that glimpse (or not aware that hey, I want the truth) Or if there is nothing true with every assumption I made, or I felt, please, I am begging, just tell me why they are lies. Tell me why and how I could have possibly been trapped in this world of imagination that was sweet but turned bitter through time. It is not that something bad is happening but something different is happening. It is ironic how I am trying to forget things that never really were in the first place.