humigit kumulang tatlong buwan

Blogging about senioritis as a sickness is not an effective solution to cure it. It would make you cry and stop and cry and stop then cry again (Probably the reason why this note is unstructured, jumps ideas from paragraphs to paragraphs. Na parang each paragraph, kailangang tuyuin ang luha dahil ang weird naman ng hitsura ng bonggang bonggang umiiyak habang nagta-type) So if you care to read this, you can read just a paragraph at a time haha.

I could not go to sleep even if I am really tired today. I am sick, yes, senioritis. I tried to go to bed and get myself covered with blankets while feeling the soft pillow beneath my head and staring at the ceiling. I could not believe that within less than three months, I would surely be doing most (if not all of the following)

1. Move out of the Udorm and find another place
2. Clear my “Tagapamahala ng Pandayan” cabinet in the Matanglawin publication room
3. Drop the label “undergraduate” or “AB EU” student
4. Have the clearance for graduation signed by the offices concerned
5. Say good bye for now to college friends
6. Apply for jobs

I was counting the academic requirements (4 written midterms, 2 long tests, 2 final oral exams, 1 final video project, 3 long academic papers, 3 major presentations, 1 model UN, a novel to finish, and I might have skipped some) before graduation and the events I need to organize (COP Sportsfest, Hulagway, Bertigo, Rubdob, LAST EVSEM) for my organization. I said to myself, “February to March would be hell. I would need to work my ass off to meet requirements, duties and deadlines.” Ang daming requirements, ang konti na ng oras. Parang gusto ko nang isuko o matulog na lamang at magising na tapos na ang lahat nang bigla kong maisip na ayokong matapos, ayoko pa. Naiisip ko, baka hindi ko pa kayang iwan ang comfort zone ng college life. Fine, college life is of course difficult, but I am scared of what is out there, what is out there away from the people you met and loved for four years.

Na iyong akala kong totoong totoong buhay ay iiwan upang sumaibayo at harapin ang sinasabi nilang “higit na totoong buhay.

I don’t know how to cure this or if I need to cure this. Na para bang, ayaw ko nang tumambay sa orgroom dahil napipilitan akong magcountdown. Na parang nakakatuwa na ang whiteboard sa orgroom, days lang ang nakalagay at walang months (I would hate to see a January there, much more a March. I would never get the chance to see April though.)

Random fact: I feel like I am very much attached to college life. I think this is true to every graduating student. Na pwede bang i-suspend ang finals week, ang blue roast, ang bigayan ng grad pics at aegis year book? Na sana huwag ko na munang pag-abalahan ang pag-iisip sa unimaginable condition na what-you-call after graduation.

Dear friends,

es,yu,el,i,ti,en en,a,ti,en a,en,ji o,ar,a,es
ay el,o,vi,e way,o,yu

As of now, I think I would rather bear a series of a series of a series of mega hell weeks than be placed in that spacio-temporal dimension of March 2011, Ateneo de Manila University.